Justice Schanfarber – Couples Counselling

Marriage and relationship specialist, including sex and intimacy.
“I serve clients worldwide by telephone and Skype.”

In-person counselling services for Campbell River and North Vancouver Island.

Request an info package by email or call for a free, confidential 10-minute initial consultation.

Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com
Phone 778 996-3821

Relationship crisis? Need help fast?
See if my 8-week Relationship Intensive is right for you – Click here.

Campbell River Counselling - Justice Schanfarber - Hakomi

I help couples in crisis identify, understand, and ultimately change the harmful patterns that threaten their relationship. Nearly a decade of working intimately with couples from all over the world informs my work.

It’s difficult for a couple to see their relationship dynamics clearly from the inside. The causes of difficulty in any relationship might appear to be obvious, but there are almost certainly hidden personal and interpersonal factors at work. Recognizing these hidden sources of conflict and disconnection requires expertise and a finely tuned eye. My specialization has helped me develop an uncommon ability to see where a relationship is stuck, and what is needed to move it forward.

Client couples are often surprised at how accurately we’re able to identify their key issues through our work together, and they appreciate getting the tools and clarity they need for healing and growth. They’re relieved to finally understand struggles that have plagued them for years, and sometimes they even discover a shared sense of purpose or meaning within the difficulties they’ve experienced.

My counselling philosophy and approach –

Conventional couples therapy and marriage counselling can rely too much on passive listening The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2and generic advice. I know this from personal experience (yes, I’ve been to couples counselling), and from the stories that are shared with me. Many client couples tell me about their discouraging experiences with past marriage counselling or therapy where they were basically told some version of this: “Schedule weekly date nights. Use ‘I-statements.’ Be more empathetic and compassionate.”

Relationships reflect our deepest fears, hopes and desires, and so relationship trouble that is painful enough to make a couple seek professional help is not likely to respond to band-aid solutions or quick fixes. Clearly a deeper understanding is needed, along with appropriate tools for change.

Choosing the right counsellor means choosing the right counsellor for you. There are many approaches to doing this work, and it’s important to find the right fit, someone that is not only skilled and experienced, but that you can also relate to and trust.

My counselling approach balances careful listening and mindful inquiry with bold truth-telling and practical action. I’m a good listener, and I’m also hands-on and engaged, giving clear direction and feedback when it is welcome. The clients who get the most benefit from working with me tend to be people who consider themselves to be reasonably successful and effective in their lives, are willing to confront themselves as well as their partner, and genuinely want my honest feedback.

I take the position that discomfort shows up in our relationship to “wake us up” to parts of ourselves that want attention. This discomfort can take the form of conflict, depression, anxiety, or other symptoms. Many of us are able to manage these uncomfortable feelings for a time. Denial, blame, avoidance, drugs and alcohol… our strategies are seemingly endless. But the time comes when the strategies no longer work, when we must confront something we have managed to avoid. As Anais Nin poetically observed – “The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 

As beautiful and affirming as the blossoming metaphor is, being faced with the reality that something must give, that something fundamental must change if the relationship is to survive, can be extremely difficult and confusing, especially when the path is unclear. The change that your relationship is asking of you may not be obvious. As we explore your relationship challenges and related symptoms in depth we’re likely to find some surprises. I go deep with my clients, and I hold space for whatever we uncover.

Relationship work might lead us into any number of related issues –

  • Sex and intimacy
  • Conflict resolution
  • Boundaries
  • Family systems, parenting, and in-laws
  • Anger and strong emotions
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Cheating and infidelity
  • Trauma and abuse
  • Navigating change
  • Self-esteem
  • Addictions and compulsive behavior
  • Grief and loss

Are you a couple in crisis?
Struggling to understand your relationship?
Need support and results as quickly as possible?
Find out if my 8-week Relationship Intensive is right for you.
Click here to learn more.

Sex and Relationship Counselling Services:
Marriage Counselling (click to view)
Sex Therapy (click to view)

Ask about counselling for non relationship-specific issues like grief, anxiety, trauma, self-esteem, etc.

Friendly and aware counselling for Kink/BDSM, LGBTQ, Polyamory, alternative relationships and lifestyles, as well as conventional relationships.

Request an info package by email or call for a free, confidential 10-minute initial consultation.

Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com
Phone 778 996-3821

Confidentiality assured.

Hollyhock couples retreat

” Justice really is an expert and can pin point issues almost immediately. I was ready to leave my husband, feeling angry, bitter and ready for change even at the cost of giving up the family. Talking with Justice gave me clarity to see my situation for what it was; to explore my own private emotions more thoroughly and to explore the beauty of relationship with another. He gives excellent tools and ideas to help manage difficult situations that undoubtedly arise in a marriage. ” ~ Kelsie Wilber, USA

“My partner and I have both grown in amazing ways over this past 6 months, and we find ourselves coming out of this growth stage still deeply attracted to the things that attracted us to one another 5 years ago. I have learned that as challenging as growth may be, it can be seen as a great gift. I could not have done this without your counseling and guidance. I am deeply grateful.” ~ Mark, USA

“The most powerful part of working with Justice is how he is right there in the trenches with you, really feeling through it with you, literally. I felt as though he was gently holding my heart in his hands, feeling everything I felt. Also, I found working over the phone to be surprisingly advantageous. I was able to maintain the physical privacy and comfort of working from my own home.” ~ Monica, USA

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