8-week Relationship Intensive

8 week Relationship Intensive8-week Relationship Intensive – For couples in crisis who need help fast.

Sessions by phone or Skype, available worldwide. Work from the comfort and convenience of your home.

Includes –

~ 90 minute weekly counselling sessions on a guaranteed time-slot (phone/skype)

~ Session recaps by email including key points, important themes, patterns to watch for

~ Customized curriculum, personalized tools and practices to support your particular needs and “growth edge” as needed

~ Check-in calls or emails between your weekly sessions

Email or call me directly to get an information package and get started. The package will include current pricing and all the other details you need to determine if the program is the right fit for you. Ask for the “8-week Relationship Intensive.”

email: justice@justiceschanfarber.com
phone: 778 996-3821

About the program –

A time comes in many marriages and relationships when the relationship teeters and threatens to collapse. It might be a particular event that brings us to the brink – an affair, illness, or accident – or it might just be the normal trials of life – children, work, life changes, persistent conflict, personality differences, in-laws and family, misunderstandings, resentment, anxiety etc.

When we find ourselves at the relationship precipice we might ask ourselves… What did we do wrong? We might be desperate to “fix” our relationship or to set the clock back and return to easier times, to something we once had.

Over the past decade I’ve helped a lot of couples all over the world find their way, and I can tell you with confidence that relationship breakthroughs almost never involve the kind of “fixing” or return-to-better-times that we imagine. Nor do relationship breakthroughs fundamentally rest upon compromise, communication techniques, or even empathy… which helps explain why so much conventional marriage counselling and therapy fails to make a significant difference.

So what does make a difference? How do we find the insights and breakthroughs we need to save a relationship?

Here’s what I’ve learned –

Real relationship breakthroughs hinge upon some surprising, previously unimaginable insight. This new insight is often born out of desperation or hopelessness, and ends up fundamentally changing the way we THINK about our relationship. It’s this change in thinking, this new understanding, that inevitably drives the change that a troubled relationship needs to survive and thrive.

Upon reflection, many couples come to realize that the difficult conditions they have experienced in their relationships may have been necessary to bring about the change that needed to happen.

Imagine this –

You hit a metaphorical iceberg and your relationship is shaken. Perhaps it begins to falter. At some point, with any luck (perhaps with the help of a program like this), you realize that the symptoms you are experiencing – conflict or sexual frustration or resentment or confusion – are only the tip of this iceberg. If you want to keep your ship afloat, you must navigate the deeper waters; you must explore the entirety of this iceberg, most of which has always remained hidden below the surface. These are dark and mysterious depths. You’re likely to find old wounds, unexamined or inherited beliefs, resentments, unquestioned ways of doing things. To complicate matters, your time is limited; the ship can’t take on water forever and remain afloat. If you don’t make the necessary discoveries in time, the relationship will sink.

Of course, not all relationships can be set afloat and put on a new course. Some reveal themselves to be unsalvageable. However, many couples just need the right kinds of insights and support to set their ship upright and plot a new course. Having an experienced guide can make all the difference, and it has made the difference for some of the couples I’ve known and worked with.

I’ve known people who are unsure or tentative about doing this work. They want to try a counselling session or two and then get back to me, or perhaps they come in for monthly “tune-up” sessions. Some couples dabble in addressing their relationship issues over a course of years (it’s worth noting that these couples have generally not hit their iceberg; they are not yet facing the brink). There is nothing wrong with this, and I’m happy to work with couples at whatever level and pace is appropriate for them.

Then there are those couples who want a maximum level of support right now. It’s make it or break it time. They need to make a change fast. They know they are at the brink, and they want to do whatever it takes to give their relationship the best possible chance.

I used to offer these couples the same service as everyone else, but then I realized I was selling them short. I was stuck in the regular counselling paradigm, which is fine for many, even most couples, but leaves some high and dry. I started to ask myself, “How can I meet these couples’ needs more fully? What would it take for me to provide the maximum possible support, above and beyond my usual level of service?”

Maximum support and attention

I decided to give these couples everything I possibly could. I developed a program with a lot more more hands-on support and personal attention. A customized curriculum adapts to your specific needs in real time over the course of the 8 weeks. It requires a lot more of me, and it also requires more of you.

The focus of our work in this 8-week program is to cut through the layers of avoidance, self-deception, wishful thinking, blame, shame, frustration, resentment, and insecurities that keep your relationship stuck and floundering. It’s about coming to terms with the reality of what your relationship actually is – not what society, or your family, or your fantasies, or even your partner, tell you it should be.

Confronting the reality of your relationship, and of who you are in it, is the surest way I know of changing it.

Some of the questions we’ll explore in this program include –

  • What are the difficult conversations you have been avoiding in your relationship?
  • How have your sexual attitudes and behaviours impacted your relationship?
  • What are your strengths in the relationship?
  • What are your weaknesses?
  • How have you contributed to creating the relationship trouble you find yourself in?
  • Which positive qualities in your partner have you ignored or been blind to?
  • Which negative qualities in your partner have you focused on?
  • How do you habitually punish yourself and/or your partner?
  • Are you allowed to be yourself in this relationship?
  • Is your partner allowed to be their self?
  • What have you sacrificed for this relationship, and has it been worth it?
  • What has your partner sacrificed?
  • Where do boundaries need to be strengthened in your relationship?
  • Where do boundaries need to be relaxed?

Many of these questions will not have simple answers. Wrestling with the questions is what eventually gives way to the insights that lead to breakthroughs. I’ll prescribe tools and practices, and a customized curriculum evolving in real time will help guide and deepen your progress.

The details –

The program runs for 8 weeks and includes –

~ 90 minute weekly counselling sessions on a guaranteed time-slot (phone/skype)

~ Session recaps by email including key points, important themes, patterns to watch for

~ Customized curriculum, personalized tools and practices to support your particular needs and “growth edge” as needed

~ Check-in calls or emails between your weekly sessions

At the end of 8 weeks, you can expect to have a significantly deeper understanding of your particular relationship dynamics, with some of your most urgent blind spots illuminated. You’ll have new skills for navigating your specific relationship challenges and difficulties. New perspectives and insights will likely have emerged, bringing clarity to persistent issues. Relationship work is deep work. It goes to the core of who we are. Some couples choose to continue working with me after their program ends, others feel complete.

” Justice really is an expert and can pin point issues almost immediately. I was ready to leave my husband, feeling angry, bitter and ready for change even at the cost of giving up the family. Talking with Justice gave me clarity to see my situation for what it was; to explore my own private emotions more thoroughly and to explore the beauty of relationship with another. He gives excellent tools and ideas to help manage difficult situations that undoubtedly arise in a marriage. ” ~ Kelsie Wilber, USA

“Justice, you’ve made the difference. We would be totally f**ked without you!” ~ G&K, New York City

Campbell River Counselling - Justice Schanfarber - HakomiEmail or call me directly to get an information package and get started. The package will include current pricing and all the other details you need to determine if the program is the right fit for you. Ask for the “8-week Relationship Intensive.”

email: justice@justiceschanfarber.com
phone: 778 996-3821

 

Not sure yet about counselling?
Want to get a head start in private, at your own pace?
Read my book.
Download a free sample or buy your full digital copy – CLICK HERE.

The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2

 

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