Tag Archives: Judith Ansara

Here are two couples retreats you won’t want to miss this summer!

Three gifted marriage counselling facilitators/therapists are offering two separate couples retreats in BC, Canada this summer (2018). I’ve worked with the presenters and can confidently recommend them: Judith Ansara and Robert Gass’s Sharing the Path Couples Retreat, and Beth Falch-Nielsen’s Keeping Love Alive Summer Camp for couples.

Sharing the Path – Judith Ansara and Robert Gass

Robert Gass Judith Ansara Hollyhock

I assisted at last year’s Sharing the Path couples retreat and I came away with a lot of respect for Robert and Judith and their teaching team. Read my takeaways from the experience – “What I learned at the couples retreat – 7 key takeaways from ‘Sharing the Path’ with Judith Ansara and Robert Gass at Hollyhock retreat centre” > click here.

August 5-10, 2018
Hollyhock Centre
Cortes Island, BC, Canada

Rekindle and deepen your experience of love and connection. Several thousand couples have attended our profound couples’ retreats. Many report that the experience was life-changing. Virtually all found their relationships infused with renewed passion, more skillful communication, enhanced mutual respect, deeper friendship, and greater joy and pleasure.

In a respectful and safe way, you will be both challenged and supported to break out of old unskillful habits and be guided in the practices of conscious relationship—authenticity, self-responsibility, empathy, appropriate boundaries, sacred sexuality, deep listening and effective problem solving. You will practice with the content that is most relevant to you and your partnership, thus tailoring the retreat to meet your specific needs. Our time together is also infused with play and fun–something many couples report wanting more of. And of course, simply time dedicated to just the two of you! You will go home with important skills and tools to continue creating a life you love.

For those who already share a good and loving connection, this retreat is an opportunity to develop your skills, and discover new levels of intimacy. For those who are feeling more challenged in partnership, Sharing the Path offers healing ways to rekindle and strengthen your connection and love.

All couples welcome.

(From the Hollyhock retreat centre website – click for more info.)

Keeping Love Alive Summer Camp – Beth Falch-Nielsen (with Richard Klein and Yogita Bouchard)

Beth Falch-Nielsen is a lead trainer with the Hakomi Institute and has been a friend and mentor for over a decade. I’ve done her workshop personally and recommend her wholeheartedly.

August 24-29, 2018
Mountain Waters Retreats
Nelson, BC, Canada

Join us for a unique 5 day Couples Retreat that will breathe new life into your relationship. You will have afternoons to enjoy the many recreational activities that Nelson has to offer, or to just rest and catch up with each other. In the six hours of daily course time (morning and evening) you will get both the tools, and new experiences together, that will allow you to change the unconscious dynamics that underlie conflict, opening the door to more connection in your relationship.

Having the right tools and reconnecting to what is really important can change relationships profoundly. Whether you are in crisis, just stuck, wanting to enrich what you already have, or find yourself at the beginning of your relationship and want guidance in how to “do it right from the beginning”, this workshop will give you a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics and effective tools to support you to create the alive and loving relationship you want.

This workshop will:
1. Offer experiential exercises that will give you concrete skills to take home. It is an opportunity to stop doing what isn’t working, and to start doing something that will.
2. Provide an opportunity to have a different experience – to re-connect, to shift attitudes, and to learn how to nourish and care for your relationship.
3. Help you, if you are in crisis and trying to make a decision about the life of your relationship, by providing models and tools to help you use a different lens to filter your decision through, and by assisting you to connect to a deeper, wiser, and less reactive part of yourself to make that decision from.

(From the Mountain Waters Retreat Centre website – click for more info.)

[Note – I have no financial interest in either of these events, nor am I involved as an organizer or presenter. Please contact the organizers directly for registration and information.]

Follow me for sex and relationship tips, tools, and insights – Facebook | Instagram

Like what you’re reading here?
You’ll love my book.
Read the first 10 pages free.

The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2

8-week Relationship Intensive - Justice Schanfarber

Campbell River Marriage Counselling Justice Schanfarber Trying to grow, fix, change, understand or save your marriage? I provide couples therapy, marriage counselling, coaching and mentoring to individuals and couples on the issues that make or break relationships – Sessions by telephone/skype worldwide. Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com to request a client info package. www.JusticeSchanfarber.com

Like Justice Schanfarber on Facebook

Sign up to get my articles by email –

Like this article? Share it! You can use the buttons below –

What I learned at the couples retreat – 7 key takeaways from “Sharing the Path” with Judith Ansara and Robert Gass at Hollyhock retreat centre

What I learned at the couples retreatThis summer I was hired to assist at the Sharing the Path couples retreat designed and facilitated by Robert Gass and Judith Ansara at Hollyhock centre on Cortes Island. I hadn’t met Judith and Robert before the retreat, though I knew of them by their solid reputation. I showed up ready to be of service, and was happy to discover that my skills and expertise fit like a glove. It was great to be part of such a talented and attuned teaching team, and to support and witness all the courageous participants as they navigated their particular relationship terrains.

Over the five-day intensive there were many reminders and much learning. I thought I would share 7 key takeaways here with you –

1. Simple is good

It’s easy to get lost down the rabbit hole of complicated relationship theories. Models and maps like attachment theory, Imago therapy, family systems, personality typing etc can all be interesting, illuminating, and valuable, but I was reminded it’s possible to go plenty deep with basic ideas and simple practices.

Speaking from the heart, telling the truth, taking responsibility, listening deeply… these are understandable ideas and doable practices for most people; simple, yet infinitely challenging and infinitely rewarding.

2. Sex matters

Almost every participant at the retreat included sex in their list of troubles. I’ve found this to be true for the couples in my couples counselling practice as well. And yet the presenters at the retreat confessed that it was not until they had been doing couples workshops for some years that they began including sexual dynamics in the curriculum. I appreciated their willingness to address sexuality head-on. Too often sex slips through the cracks in this sort of relationship work.

I believe there are two main reasons that sex routinely gets excluded or marginalized in much conventional marriage counselling and couples therapy:

First, there’s a cultural prejudice against addressing and valuing sex on its own merits. The assumption – partly a moralistic holdover from puritanism ideals I believe – is that if “the relationship” is good, then the sex should automatically follow. It should be obvious by now that this is often not the case.

Second, sex is a difficult topic fraught with unconsciousness and shadow, complicated meanings, tender feelings, trauma, taboo, frustration. It’s a dangerous and awkward box to open. Even skilled professional facilitators and therapists can feel uncomfortable speaking explicitly about sex.

3. Relationship trouble is universal

Many people are not in the habit of sharing their relationship troubles and pain with anyone outside their own relationship, at least not in any constructive way. The result is that we tend to internalize an erroneous idea that our relationship problems are completely unique to us. This creates feelings of isolation and even defectiveness. The false fronts presented through social media exacerbates feelings of incongruence; shiny happy personas on the outside, tenderness, hurt, and desperation on the inside.

At this retreat carefully designed exercises allowed participants to switch off and provide coaching support for one another, always in ways that honoured safety and privacy. After these exercises, individuals and couples sometimes chose to share their insights and gleanings with the group; of course this was always optional.

4. The work is never finished

Relationship work comes with built-in traps, especially the assumption that we will somehow master this thing called relationship and one day be free from the difficulties it causes. What actually happens is that as we become more skillful we can’t help but raise the bar, and so we are continually called to navigate new and more sophisticated challenges.

Robert and Judith modelled this wonderfully by weaving in stories of their own significant trials and tribulations over their fifty years of relationship together, including sharing one challenge that arose between them in “real-time” during the course of the retreat.

5. A sense of humour helps

Relationships by nature have a bittersweet element. This bittersweetness is beautifully expressed through humour (etymologically related to humility) and laughing at and with ourselves. Judith and Robert exemplified this throughout. (Note – Humour can also be unconsciously used to escape uncomfortable but necessary tension. This is a self-defeating strategy to watch for.)

6. Move your body

It’s easy for many of us to get stuck in our head trying to figure things out. The presenters wisely had us getting up and moving, often through dance, at regular intervals. The change in energy and perspective this created was palpable.

7. It’s called practice for a reason

Finally, if we want to get better at relationship, including sex, we need to practice. There’s always that moment when it dawns on a person that their life is completely full and that they have no time to add “relationship practice” to the mix. Something will have to give.

If you want to play the violin or become a good skier it’s not nearly enough to gather information; you must practice. Relationships are no different in this regard. Learn tools (there are many – see my book The Re-connection Handbook for Couples), then practice them, preferably daily. Learning tools without practicing them is maybe worse than useless because it amplifies disappointment. One way or another, you will have to make room in your life for doing relationship practices.

Relationship practice tips: Practice implies imperfection – give yourself and your partner permission to fail. Be curious and non-attached to practice outcomes. Practice in low-stakes situations; don’t wait until your biggest triggers are activated before you pull out your relationship toolbox! Get help if you need it, even if just to get started.

To learn more about Judith and Robert’s work visit www.sacredunion.com.

 

Like what you’re reading here?
You’ll love my new book.
Read the first 10 pages free.

The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2

8-week Relationship Intensive - Justice Schanfarber

Campbell River Marriage Counselling Justice Schanfarber Trying to grow, fix, change, understand or save your marriage? I provide couples therapy, marriage counselling, coaching and mentoring to individuals and couples on the issues that make or break relationships – Sessions by telephone/skype worldwide. Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com to request a client info package. www.JusticeSchanfarber.com

Like Justice Schanfarber on Facebook

Sign up to get my articles by email –

Like this article? Share it! You can use the buttons below –

Couples Retreat at Hollyhock centre with Robert Gass and Judith Ansara – I’ll be assisting

Hollyhock centre couples’ retreat: “Sharing the Path” with Robert Gass and Judith Ansara

Robert Gass Judith Ansara Hollyhock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Update – Read my 7 key takeaways from the couples retreat – Click here.]

I’m very pleased to announce that I’ll be assisting at this year’s couples’ retreat led by Judith Ansara and Robert Gass at Hollyhock centre on Cortes Island, August 4-9, 2017.

I feel honoured that Judith and Robert have invited me to join the team for the 5-day retreat. I’m very much looking forward to working with the participants, and I’m excited for the opportunity to learn from these two highly respected and experienced teachers. The venue is also inspiring… Hollyhock centre is fabulous!

Robert and Judith have been leading relationship retreats at Hollyhock for sixteen years, and everyone I talk to who has experienced their work has great things to say.

From the program description on the Hollyhock website –

Rekindle and deepen your experience of love and connection. Join the thousands of couples who have attended our couples’ retreat and found their relationships infused with renewed passion, skillful communication, mutual respect, deeper friendship, and greater joy and pleasure.

For those who already share a good and loving connection, this retreat is an opportunity for further enrichment and discovering new levels of intimacy. For those who are feeling challenged in partnership, Sharing the Path offers healing ways to rekindle and strengthen your connection and love.

Most couples report that this retreat has been life-changing. In a respectful and safe way, you will be both challenged and supported to break out of old unskilled habits and be guided in the practices of conscious relationship—authenticity, self-responsibility, empathy, appropriate boundaries, sacred sexuality, deep listening and effective problem solving. You will practice with the content that is most relevant to you and your partnership, thus tailoring the retreat to meet your specific needs. Our time together is also infused with play and fun–something many couples report wanting more of. You will go home with important skills and tools to continue creating a life you love.

All couples welcome.

I hope that some of the wonderful couples I’ve worked with over the years feel called to join us.

The dates are August 4-9, 2017. Space is limited and these retreats do typically sell out. Register early to reserve your place.

Hollyhock retreat centre Cortes IslandTo learn more or to register visit the Hollyhock website – Click here.
Or call Hollyhock at 1-800-933-6339.

Please direct all registration and logistical inquiries to Hollyhock centre directly.

 

[Update – Read my 7 key takeaways from the couples retreat – Click here.]

 

Like what you’re reading here?
You’ll love my new book.
Read the first 10 pages free.

The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2

8-week Relationship Intensive - Justice Schanfarber

Campbell River Marriage Counselling Justice Schanfarber Trying to grow, fix, change, understand or save your marriage? I provide couples therapy, marriage counselling, coaching and mentoring to individuals and couples on the issues that make or break relationships – Sessions by telephone/skype worldwide. Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com to request a client info package. www.JusticeSchanfarber.com

Like Justice Schanfarber on Facebook

Sign up to get my articles by email –

Like this article? Share it! You can use the buttons below –