Justice Schanfarber – Couples Counselling

Marriage and relationship specialist, including sex and intimacy.
“I serve clients worldwide by telephone and Skype.”

Request an info package by email – Please include which country you are writing from.
Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com
Phone 778 996-3821

Campbell River Counselling - Justice Schanfarber - Hakomi

I help individuals and couples create more enjoyment and satisfaction in their relationships and beyond.

A decade of working with couples from all over the world informs my work.

It’s difficult to see your relationship dynamics clearly from the inside. The causes of difficulty in any marriage or relationship might appear to be obvious, but there are almost certainly hidden personal and interpersonal factors at work. Recognizing these hidden sources of conflict and disconnection requires expertise and a finely tuned eye. My specialization has helped me develop an uncommon ability to see where a relationship is stuck, and what is needed to move it forward.

Client couples are often surprised at how accurately we’re able to identify their key issues through our work together, and they appreciate getting the tools and clarity they need for healing and growth. They’re relieved to finally understand struggles that have plagued them for years, and sometimes they even discover a sense of purpose or meaning within the difficulties they’ve experienced.

I’ve built an international reputation for helping individuals and couples find their way forward, even after previous attempts with couples therapists and marriage counsellors have failed.

The Re-connection handbook for couples - by Justice Schanfarber - web box2

My counselling philosophy and approach –

Conventional couples therapy and marriage counselling can rely too much on passive listening and generic advice. I know this from personal experience (yes, I’ve been to couples counselling), and from the stories that are shared with me. Many client couples tell me about their discouraging experiences with past marriage counselling or therapy where they were basically told some version of this: “Schedule weekly date nights. Use ‘I-statements.’ Be more empathetic.”

Relationships reflect our deepest fears, hopes, and desires, and so relationship trouble that is painful enough to make a couple seek professional help is not likely to respond to band-aid solutions, quick fixes, or surface remedies. Clearly a deeper understanding is needed, along with appropriate tools for change.

Choosing the right counsellor means choosing the right counsellor for you. There are many approaches to doing this work, and it’s important to find the right fit, someone that is not only skilled and experienced, but that you can also relate to and trust.

My counselling approach balances careful listening and mindful inquiry with bold truth-telling and practical action. I’m a good listener, and I’m also hands-on and engaged, giving clear direction and feedback when it is welcome. The clients who get the most benefit from working with me are those who consider themselves to be reasonably successful and effective in their lives, are willing to befriend themselves as well as their partner, and genuinely want my honest feedback.

I believe that discomfort shows up in our relationship to “wake us up” to parts of ourselves that need attention. This discomfort can take the form of conflict, depression, anxiety, or other symptoms. Many of us are able to manage these uncomfortable feelings for a time. Denial, blame, avoidance, drugs and alcohol… our strategies are seemingly endless. But the time comes when the strategies no longer work, when we must confront something we have managed to avoid. As Anais Nin poetically observed – “The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 

As beautiful and affirming as the blossoming metaphor is, being faced with the reality that something must give, that something fundamental must change if the relationship is to survive, can be extremely difficult and confusing, especially when the path is unclear.

Relationship work might lead us into any number of related issues –

  • Sex and intimacy
  • Conflict resolution
  • Boundaries
  • Family systems, parenting, and in-laws
  • Anger and strong emotions
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Cheating and infidelity
  • Trauma and abuse
  • Navigating change
  • Self-esteem
  • Addictions and compulsive behavior
  • Grief and loss

Relationships ask us to grow, and the direction of growth that is required may not be obvious to you. My years of experience and hard-won expertise has provided me with a “map” for discerning the path forward, even in the most seemingly stuck relationships. As we explore your relationship challenges and related symptoms in depth we’re likely to find some surprises. I go deep with my clients, and I hold space for whatever we uncover.

Request an info package by email – Please include which country you are writing from.

Email justice@justiceschanfarber.com
Phone 778 996-3821

Confidentiality assured.


“Justice really is an expert and can pin point issues almost immediately. I was ready to leave my husband, feeling angry, bitter and ready for change even at the cost of giving up the family. Talking with Justice gave me clarity to see my situation for what it was; to explore my own private emotions more thoroughly and to explore the beauty of relationship with another. He gives excellent tools and ideas to help manage difficult situations that undoubtedly arise in a marriage. ” ~ Kelsie Wilber, USA

“We’ve seen five local counsellors in the past five years. I’d given up on ever being understood or loved the way I need. I was skeptical about working on the phone, but we learned more about ourselves and made more progress in our first three sessions with you than with all the previous counsellors combined. I know there are no guarantees, but it feels good to have hope again. I’m optimistic about my marriage for the first time in years.” ~ JM, Canada

“My partner and I have both grown in amazing ways over this past 6 months, and we find ourselves coming out of this growth stage still deeply attracted to the things that attracted us to one another 5 years ago. I have learned that as challenging as growth may be, it can be seen as a great gift. I could not have done this without your counseling and guidance. I am deeply grateful.” ~ Mark, USA

“The most powerful part of working with Justice is how he is right there in the trenches with you, really feeling through it with you, literally. I felt as though he was gently holding my heart in his hands, feeling everything I felt. Also, I found working over the phone to be surprisingly advantageous. I was able to maintain the physical privacy and comfort of working from my own home.” ~ Monica, USA

Follow me on social media for sex and relationship tips, tools, and insights – Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Like Justice Schanfarber on Facebook

Sign up to get my articles by email –