Marriage and Relationship Specialist. Fifteen years experience. Distance sessions worldwide.
R3 Relationship Masterclass
Listen to a free sample:
Click button below to buy $250 USD
You’ll be taken to a secure PayPal checkout page to pay, and then immediately re-directed to the paid access page where you can play and download your R3 Relationship Masterclass. I’ll also email you a link to the access page once I am notified of your payment. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to email or call me directly. email justice@justiceschanfarber.com phone 778 996-3821
What are relationships for?
Your relationship is always an accurate indicator of your current level of emotional development.
In other words, you get the relationship that you are ready for… Not necessarily the relationship that you want, not the one you deserve, but the one that you are currently an emotional match for.
Emotional development in every individual proceeds in stages, and each stage presents predictable problems in a relationship. In fact, one of the key purposes of a marriage or relationship is that it encourages individuals to continue their journey of personal growth and emotional maturation.
We are ever-expanding beings in an ever-expanding universe, and our purpose is to contribute to the expansion of all that is through our own personal growth. Adult romantic relationships are the perfect mechanism for encouraging and supporting this.
This growth journey is shared between partners to a point, but there is always a crucial juncture, a milestone when the unilateral growth of one partner or the other becomes the catalyst for a new relationship paradigm.
You’ll know when you reach this juncture because all of the communication advice (some of it very good advice indeed) reaches the end of its usefulness. No amount of negotiation between partners seems to relieve or satisfy. A new approach is needed.
This new approach, born out of a stalemate or gridlock between partners, is the focus of my R3 Relationship Masterclass.
Three stages of relationship
Relationships go through three predictable stages, and the second stage (I call it the Disillusionment stage) is where most couples get stuck.
They get stuck because they insist on trying to navigate their way by compromise, agreement, and mutual understanding. These sound like good qualities in a relationship, and they are, to a point, but they cannot get you out of the second stage and into the third stage of relationship, what I call “Homecoming”.
Arriving at the Homecoming stage requires one partner or the other to expand their sense of self beyond the identity they have established within the relationship.
This is an internal move first and foremost, not an external or behavioral one. This is important to understand because a lot of people attempt to claim autonomy through a premature, reactive, or defiant outward move like shutting down, becoming rigid or defensive, lashing out in anger, or even having an affair or ending the relationship out of fear, frustration or desperation.
These are all unnecessary, counterproductive, and ultimately unsatisfying behaviors because what is really being called for is inner (emotional) work first.
This inner work can be done within a relationship, and doing so makes it even more potent and rewarding. That said, there is nothing wrong with ending a relationship… you’ll just be faced with the same inner work in your next relationship or in a different life context (work, money, family, community, health etc).
A map for growing your relationship
I’ve worked in the field of relationship counselling for a long time, and I see many others in my field offering a lot of good relationship advice, but almost all of it focuses on some form of partner negotiation and almost none of it focuses on personal growth and individual emotional empowerment.
Let me explain the difference –
When trouble arises in a relationship there is a tendency to see it as a “we” thing. The problem gets framed in terms of communication between partners, or different attachment styles, or misunderstanding, or lack of authenticity, vulnerability, empathy or commitment.
And so the solution gets framed in similar terms: communication tools, working toward mutual understanding, attachment styles, empathy exercises, more vulnerability… all “we” solutions to what is perceived as a “we” problem.
I was thoroughly immersed in this view for years (virtually all marriage counsellors and couples therapists are; it comes with the territory), and my popular book from 2015, The Re-Connection Handbook for Couples, approaches relationship work partly from this perspective. To be clear, there’s lots of good work to be done and much benefit to be received from this “we” point of view.
But…
As I said right at the top of this page, your relationship is, first and foremost, always a perfect indicator of your personal level of emotional development.
If you want a more satisfying, less troubling, easier-going relationship, you must make yourself an emotional match for what you want. The way you make yourself a match for the relationship that reflects your heart’s deeper desire is to attend to your ongoing emotional development.
That’s what my R3 Relationship Masterclass is all about. It is not advice for fixing or saving your relationship. It’s not communication tools, tips, or strategies.
It is a map for growing your relationship from the inside out, starting with you and how you think about yourself and experience yourself within relationship.
Painful growth or joyful growth?
Trying to fix or save a relationship from the same stage of emotional development that created the trouble in the first place only tends to dig you in deeper. Outgrowing your problems is really the only way to solve them.
This growth will happen one way or another because it is built into evolution, but growth can be painful or it can be joyful, and you definitely get some say in the matter.
Which would you prefer?
Personally, I’ve had my fill of painful growth, and I decided I like joyful growth better, so that’s the core of my model.
This course is the culmination and distillation of my entire career as a marriage counsellor and couples therapist. It contains the very best of all that I have learned working with hundreds of people over the course of more than a decade. It is my Magnum Opus.
It’s also a candid story of my own life journey. I practice what I preach, and I have benefited enormously, beyond words, from what I teach in the course.
If you feel resonance with what you’re reading here, I encourage you to trust that resonance and listen to the free sample at the top of the page. It’s just over fifteen minutes long, and you’ll get a good overview of the material that I cover in the class.
The sample alone could provide enough insight to change the course of your relationship and inspire the next chapter of your personal growth. It really is a rare and valuable map of the relationship experience.
What’s in the R3 Relationship Masterclass?
My R3 Relationship Masterclass is a series of professionally recorded audio recordings. Total time is just over three hours.
The core curriculum is delivered in three modules, and I have added an additional four bonus recordings to give you the most valuable and complete experience possible.
These bonus recordings include candid conversations between me and my lovely and talented real-life partner and collaborator, Vanessa Scott.
Listeners have told me how much they enjoy hearing us discuss our individual and shared relationship journeys.
Another notable bonus is an explanation of the three stages of emotional development in individuals. People are finding this explanation incredibly helpful in understanding their own emotional journey and also in understanding the emotional attitudes and expressions of their partner, of other people, and even of the culture at large.
Module one – Relationships as Personal Growth: Three Stages of Relationship
Module two – Emotional Differentiation: The Key to Growing Your Relationship
Module three – Homecoming: You Are That Which You Seek (Entering the Third Stage of Relationship)
Relationship Masterclass Bonus Material (Five modules totaling 111 minutes)
Bonus Module – Emotional Differentiation: A conversation and Q&A with my partner and collaborator Vanessa Scott
Bonus Module – Advice for Moving into the Third Stage: A conversation and Q&A with my partner and collaborator Vanessa Scott
Bonus Module – My Personal Account of Entering the Third Stage: A conversation and Q&A with my partner and collaborator Vanessa Scott
Bonus Module – Individual Emotional Development in Three Stages
Bonus Module – Three Stages of Emotional Development: A conversation and Q&A with my partner and collaborator Vanessa Scott
Total time including core curriculum and bonus modules is just over three hours.
Praise and endorsements
In this clear and concise Relationship Masterclass, Justice breaks from the familiar therapy approaches and takes you on a journey of emotional development that ultimately moves beyond external validation, towards the richness of finding love and connection in the nature of our existence.
I appreciate his simple three-stage model, and his compelling explanation for why relationships often end sooner than they need to, in what he calls the “disillusionment stage”.
With clear examples he shows how we can move through disillusionment and arrive at what he calls “homecoming”, where you discover the joy and ease of allowing yourself and your partner to each have your own unique experience without attempting to control how the other feels.
At this third stage you become willing to recognize yourself as the source of the belonging, connection, and love that you seek. You no longer hitch your feeling of worth to someone else, and you learn to fan your own flame.
Justice breathes real life into these teachings, and with calm, clear words he guides you to new understandings of the transformative potential that relationships hold.
Maarten van der Wielen Youth and Family counsellor
I completed your Masterclass today. It was just so delicious. Thank you. I can feel a glow that has carried me through this past week of indulging in the ideas you offer.
I couldn’t get enough. I found myself devouring it over and over again. The simplicity of your thought, your articulation, and most importantly your soft, curious, inquisitive tone landed for me.
Most of what you offered wasn’t new to me, in fact I’ve been macerating these thoughts, impressions, and choices around autonomy for some time. And, I’ve still found myself attached to that second emotional developmental phase, hyper focusing on my emotional experience, and sometimes using that as currency to receive connection.
Recognizing that I have all the connection I need within me, and orienting toward that, is life changing. I have been intentionally sitting multiple times per day, feeling myself and filling my cup with my own energy.
Your suggestions are easy to follow. Your invitation to really attune with orienting toward desire lit something up in me. I have noticed a remarkable shift. The impact is in part due to the clarity and the poignancy of your delivery.
I highly recommend this work for those ready to take their power back, to those ready to lead a fulfilling life integrating autonomy and agency within their love relationship.
Justice has many years under his belt working directly in this field, with a wealth of practical experience seeing what works and what doesn’t. He’s masterful at this work.
More importantly, he’s a highly integrated and evolved person; someone who’s found happiness, peace, contentment, and satisfaction in his own life. It’s important to me that whoever I open my mind to and learn from has the real-world results I desire. Justice walks the talk and is a living example of the wonderful things that can happen when you apply the concepts taught in this course.
He offers a unique and enlightened perspective on relationships and the beautiful opportunities they hold for emotional and personal development. If you’ve reached a ceiling on the results you’re getting with tools like typical talk therapy, negotiation, love languages, attachment styles, and non-violent communication, this course will offer you something beyond. It’s the next step!
What you can access through this material is a way to transcend the confinement of “need energy” and achieve emotional sovereignty, shifting your focus to your heart’s desires and wants. It’s a freeing and empowering journey that Justice leads you through and one I whole-heartedly recommend!
Justice has a keen understanding of some of the common pitfalls of relationships and has valid, and in many ways novel, ideas to shift relationship ideals.
The idea of differentiation is a powerful tool in life, and recognizing emotional fusion in relationships can be transformative.
Justice’s use of personal experience as a way to teach makes the course very real and accessible. This course lays a pathway for more joy and fun in intimate relationship and in life! Excellent!
Nirmal Power MA, R.C.C.
Justice’s R3 Relationship Masterclass is eye-opening.
Looking deeper at relational energies and giving yourself permission to be yourself… As an empath, it could feel almost impossible to separate my nervous system from my lover’s, and to allow him the freedom to feel as he needs to without it affecting me, but through this Masterclass, I see how it is possible and healthy to do so.
Justice’s teachings, specifically the 3rd stage in relationship, fall in alignment with the beautiful concept of self-love.
Loving yourself fully and letting go of the NEED for a partner transforms everything. It allows our romantic relationship to flourish because we don’t depend on a lover. That energy of need is no longer present. When we no longer need a partner, that energy of dependency fades, allowing ourselves to WANT a lover. And to me this feels more free.
This is the space that feels the most empowering to be in. After all, the energetic core value of the masculine is freedom, which all humans desire on some level.
Discovering that we are the source of our own happiness is powerful. This dynamic shifts the perspective of what a relationship is really for.
To wake up every day and see your partner for the amazing person they are, and to choose them because you want to be there with them, is really the magic that most couples are desiring.
The three stages of relationship and the three stages of emotional development are for everyone and I believe every human can benefit from these amazing viewpoints.
This Masterclass has definitely helped my relationship grow in beautiful ways. Thank you, Justice.
Mandy Tjart Photographer, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Ceremony Facilitator and Course Creator Mandy’s Healthy Life
Ready to get started?
Click the button below. $250 USD
You’ll be taken to a secure PayPal checkout page to pay, and then immediately re-directed to the paid access page where you can listen to and download your R3 Relationship Masterclass. I’ll also email you a link to the access page once I am notified of your payment. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to email or call me directly. email justice@justiceschanfarber.com phone 778 996-3821
